Tuesday, March 22, 2011

My 100 Things...


Inspired by the pictures down the 2nd grade hallway and the possible onset of a midlife crisis or just plain insanity.  These are 100 things I might like to be when I grow up starting with the least desirable, but possible occupations.


My 100 things I want to be when I grow up…

100. Tarantula caretaker
99. Bill O’Reilly intern
98. Gum scraper
97. Kindergarten teacher
96. Mail person
95. Foot massager
94. Obama intern
93. Cocaine inspector
92. Moral Relativist
91. Wedding Planner
90. Outhouse Checker
89. Mariana Trench diver
88. School counselor
87. School principal
86. Nun
85. Mel Gibson”s ticket writer
84. Explosion videographer
83. Volcano Explorer
82. Circus cannon projectile
81. Slum investigator
80. Hurricane Scientist
79. Envelope licker
78. Britney Speer’s back-up dancer
77. IRS Agent
76. Clay pigeon retriever
75. Conspiracy theorist
74. Pig slop processor
73. Cow mucker
72. Coffin maker
71. Phone book deliverer
70. Herpetologist
69. Purple People Eater
68. Incan Sacrifice
67. Daycare poop wiper
66. Malaria vaccine tester
65. Skywriter at a Rifle Festival
64. Construction manager
63. 1980s Historian
62. 1970s Historian
61. Bowling Ball Shiner
60. M&M color separator
59.Glue sniffer
58. Paper inspector
57. West Coast Rap Star
56. Dental spit vacuumer
55. Butter churner
54. Astronaut
53. Comic Con Door welcomer
52. Karaoke singer
51. Drunk Saints football fan
50. Stephen Colbert intern
49. Drunk Premier League fan
48. Crash test dummy
47. Photographer
46. Restaurant critic
45. South Park illustrator
44. Bulgarian Gypsy
43. Divet replacer
42. Shakespearian actor
41. Crawfish peeler
40. Graphic designer
39. Regular Bum
38. Danube River boat operator
37. Neoclassical Architect
36. Beach Bum
35. Cat Groomer
34. Golfer with an awesome handicap
33. Irish bartender
32. Sunglasses examiner
31. Printer
30. Dog Groomer
29. Theologian
28. Manga artist
27. Restoration painter
26. Book Publisher
25. Modern Historian
24. Marine biologist
23. Retro Furniture restorer
22. Beer taster
21. Oceanographer
20. Wine critic
19. Professional Tennis player
18. Muscle Car repair person
17. Copy Editor
16. Museum Director
15. Horse caretaker
14. Nonprofit PR manager
13. Coffee sniffer/taster
12. Software programmer
11. Teacher
10. Baker of any sort
9. Patisserie baker
8. Coffee Barista
7. Philanthropist
6. Stage actress
5. Painter
4. Full-time missionary
3. Poet
2. Musician
1. Full-time writer