Sunday, June 4, 2017

The Teapot calling the Kettle Black

It has taken me all day to realize my own pridefulness in a seemingly simple situation.  I was so upset, I didn't really hear anything said to me for an hour while I tried not to cry. I wasn't successful, but at least I didn't cry in front of the judgy people.
Which brings me to my point, people are always looking to judge.  The people who go around saying everyone should be nice are the most judgmental.  It's really kind of sad.
Here's what I did: I prayed that God would smite them.
Just kidding!! But smite is a good word. The first thing I did was attend Sunday mass on this wonderful Pentacost feast. I tried to listen to what the priest was saying. Then I prayed for my enemies known and unknown that they might know the mercy and love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Even then, in my prideful anger I still could not surrender to the trust and love of Jesus. But after some time, it finally came to me that I am the cause of my own demise.
I guess the people who are so judgmental will always be that way. I don't know if I believe people can change, but I do believe the Holy Ghost can move hearts in the right direction. I am glad I was able to get somewhere with that lesson today. I may learn more tomorrow, for the Spirit is an abundant teacher.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017


God rises in my soul each day in my first waking thoughts. Sometimes it's because I love Him and most times it's because I am asking for His divine mercy because of my faults.  Either way, I walk a road near to Him because He had called me to it.
I guess technically I graduated from a Catholic university, but not many people at my university knew what being Catholic truly meant.  Still I merged as a practicing Catholic ready to heal the world.
I found instead that Christ would wound my heart in various ways with each cut healing over making the organ seal upon itself growing outward.
I am glad not to many read my thoughts here because I tell the whole truth about my love for Jesus and the way in which He calls me.  I find it doesn't hurt as much when people judge or hate me. I am more ready to pray for those souls most in need of prayer. Those souls that lash out at their fellow sinners, are longing to be loved, are longing to not be pushed away, are longing to be alone no more.
Let the Creator rise, rise, rise in your being. Let Him enter in the darkness. Let His radiance illuminate the shadowed places of your heart. For Christ has won.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Death by Sunday Brioche or Love beyond the Food

Lent has come to an end this year again with the celebration of Easter.  I love Easter but I always seem to be terrible at practicing Lenten observances.  In order to counter act the bad practices I have and give glory to God, I am going to try to upgrade my Catholicism to fasting from meat on all Fridays.  If I can remember what day it is, I hope to repent for all the other times I have forgotten about abstaining on Fridays during Lent.
The thing that is really cool though is that Christ loves me even though I forget.  It's really not about the meat so much as the grace He wants to pour out on those that seek to follow his will.  Abstaining and offering a small sacrifice conjoined with the cross is an act of our free will to love Him in return.
Our Lord has poured upon me so many graces.  May I not forget or abuse them in anyway.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Tomorrow everything is different

When Jesus came to prepare the hearts of men he was patient and kind.  He was completing a Herculean task, a Savior's task.

Can you imagine Him sitting next to you and saying to you, "What if tomorrow, everything is different?"

What 'different' are you talking about?  Think about the thing you most desire.  The the thing you have desired for as long as you could remember.  Think about what that thing means to you.  What does it mean for the people around you?

What does your heart say it is?

And now, ask the question in a whisper that speaks volumes so loud it can crush mountains.  What if tomorrow, everything is different?

That is what Christ does.  He makes it different.  That desire for the something more is always laced with the truth of love that He has brought into reality on this Earth.  Within our lifetimes, the Christ has made whole what was lost in denial.  Whoever denies love cannot experience the truth.  Our being here, existing within the creation that is ongoing in the hand of the Father, is part of the different.

Because behind every good desire is the will of God the Father.

What does your heart say?

What if tomorrow everything is different?

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Annihilation Method for Beginners

This semester I am taking differential equations.  While failing miserably, (there is a slight chance I may pass) I am always seeing the Glory of God in the little things.

The idea of 'zero' has been swirling around in my head for weeks.  There are zeros, and then there are things that equate to zero.  My thoughts on the subject continuously bring me to the fact that if there is zero, then there is also a value yet to be found.

When I align myself with the nothing that we think of as zero compared to our neighbor that we live along side of, or work under the same roof with, then some saints say that is the path to holiness.

In application, rather than a formulation, I am met with both the good and the bad within the human heart.  For example,  a coworker who is generally rude to me on a regular basis, has no reason other than I suspect insecurity.

I have met other people like this before and I tend to ignore them.  Yesterday, she was overtly rude to me after having asked for something that I didn't have.  Like I said, she is always like this toward me and I have mentioned it, but people at work tend to chalk it up to 'that's how she is.'

Here's the cool connection though, if I were to equate myself as zero before her, wouldn't that be a step toward holiness?  The Litany of Humility has that one line that always gets me: 'From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me Jesus."

This is what I mean.  First, Jesus Christ came to save, but to do that He had to change perception of what it was to be just and what it was to truly love thy neighbor.  How must I approach someone who holds on to anger?

Well first I will look to the saints such as Saint Theresa of Calcutta, Saint Lazarus, Saint Elizabeth of Hungary.  Forgive and love.

There lies the value found within the expression of man equaling zero before others.  In solving math, we must first find the zero sum before we can find the particular value.  How amusing is it that in mathematics, the Glory of God can be found in something that is nothing first?  To me, it's wonderfully delightful.  Ad Glorium Dei

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Magnitude of Faith

What is the magnitude of faith?

Is magnitude a capacity of reach or an extent of which it reaches?  How many factors are included? Can be included?  If magnitude was measure of faith, which factors and cofactors might we include?

Magnitude is as the racing of a child's mind desiring to know. Magnitude could be the subjective worth of a dollar bill not to the poor in America, but to the poor in Bangladesh. Or think of magnitude as the molecular benefit of water to both living and nonliving things on Earth.

Their are so many components to understand what this adjective may be in regards to faith.  I was only just thinking of it while doing math homework. A.G.D.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

St Therese

Thank you St Therese for your sanctity.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Blueberry Pancakes on a Stick

To God be all glory.

I found myself completing a crossword puzzle yesterday. It was something new to me because I've never had the patience to sit and think about the clues. But I have found myself  changing into what I need to be at this time. God is calling me to be a puzzle solver.

I am moving at a snails pace toward an engineering degree. All the science is really cool. But I find myself still, totally enamored of God's love.  Jesus doesn't just call good people. He calls everybody.  All the time He is calling.

He is calling hearts. He is calling minds. He is calling for self control and physical sacrifice as well.  What a great and Gloriuos God who created mitochondria to calculus.  He is the greater, higher thinker.

At some point, a person was inspired to make a sausage stick covered in blueberry pancake batter. How awesome is that??!

It seems trivial, but Jesus calls the hearts and minds of all types to be great.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Poem for a Louisiana flood

Cast away my fear, cast away my doubt.
Draw me to your shores of everlasting love.
Water rises at my foundation even as I think it's strong.
Carry me through the waters.
Hold me high above the flood.
Though my actions bring me below,
let faith lift me even though.
You are the first and the last
The hope and the rainbow of the world.
Father your promise gives me courage.
Jesus, your love keeps me whole.
Raise me from my worry and sin,
Spirit cover me as morning dew,
A bud yearning to soar.
Cast away my fear, cast away my doubt.
And when the new day dawns,
Find me here below, coming toward you evermore
As though I'd never been without.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

The Great Small Step

What a busy summer it has been.  I am now making last ditch efforts to complete projects and prep for the new school year. How does one determine what is important and will make the most difference?
One thing I have been working on this summer is to leave each encounter with some love both from me in actions and in mind. It's hard when human emotion is such a temperamental beast.  One encounter upset me because the person was in a state of anger from the offset and wanted to take it out on me.  But after giving it some thought I realized again that our reactions often occur as an act of 'expected' treatment from others.
The small thing, of loving other people even if you don't like them very much, sets your own heart free.
Life is all about people anyway.  If you try enough times to act with love in your heart then you eventually figure it out.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Love never fails

Ephesians 4: 1-6

1I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called,
2with all lowliness and meekness, with patience, forbearing one another in love,
3eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
4There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call,
5one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
6one God and Father of us all, who is above all and through all and in all.

One failure in life that must be overcome on a daily basis, is the fleeting thought to not care.  Of course we have met and know people who practice the opposite. It falls on those that do, to shine a bright light of love.  Love is a super power.  

Not only is it protective armor on the outside, it is also an inner beakon calling all different types to you.  This is one of the reasons it is so important to do the daily little things to know Jesus.  People want Jesus in their life because He calls to their soul as part of the salvation of the world. Good and bad he calls. The effort to form ourselves as Christlike as we are limited, draws people to us.

It takes practice, as most things do,  to encounter individuals with love.  The problem of self, human error and emotion are a drawback.  But God exudes love in the Holy Spirit who allows all the grace we need for every situation.

You have this super power. Pray, pray,pray for more ability to love and forgive. Love never fails when you truly seek to love.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Few and far between

Every now and then I get a 'friendly' reminder that I am not like other people. It comes in the form of "I should do this" or "I'm too that".
Most recently, someone made a comment that I should socialize more at work. As a practicing Christian, I am very selective of who I spend my extra time with. I think this is a super good thing.  There is a spiritual battle going on 24/7 and any little bit I can do to fight it, I will.  Besides the fact, I like to work at work.
While we are also called as Christians to love thy neighbor,  you can usually tell if your neighbor wants to be friends pretty quickly. I can't say I haven't tried at least!!

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Prayers for Atheists and Fly-Fishermen

As I have already mentioned, I have begun the journey of 'fishing'.  Not, sport of fishing, past time of fishing, or hobby of fishing. Journey.

There is so much Joy!! in it.  I caught three different trees today and my line at least 5 times.  My casting improved and my mindset changed to one of determination, until it became past lunch time...

I realized there are so many mistakes you can make in fishing as you go and it doesn't hurt you or anyone else.  The mistakes are not something looming ahead like a shadow.  They just happen.  This may sound crazy to some of you, but I guess I have come to know a certain amount of failure.  Most of the time my failure has to do with personal interactions and the expectations others hold about me.
Though I worry about it to some degree, I have never been one to want to meet other people's expectations.  Also I hold others to a high expectation, so it's a catch-22.  In fishing, there is no one to please but yourself and no expectations of what may come.  It's all a surprise.

In the scripture, the disciples go back to what they know after Christ has been crucified.  They are fishing when He calls to them on shore as they were when he called them to be disciples.  The truth that he brings though is that He is the peace that they seek.  But their willingness to search is part of the movement that is required of us to not be mediocre.  Learning and practicing a new 'talent' is one way to actively engage in the beauty that God has created for us.

I have been so grateful for my health.  It is such a gift, therefore I want to use that gift in a way that I can glorify God.  My arms work and I love being outside, so I will fish as long as I am able.  I am still learning to walk so to speak, so my journey with this talent is brand new.   It is exciting nonetheless and a newly discovered life's treasure.

Prayer for an Atheist and a Fly-Fishermen

Lord, if you want me to see
Let me find you in the shadows.
Let me recognize the ripple on the surface.
Let me try again and again to seek what is unknown.
Do not forsake a fool who hopes in the smallest fly.
For you are the great Creator.
You have cast your hand in all of these
Lakes, rivers and oceans.
Rise up like the morning sun and show me
Where to find you past the dawn and dusk.

Monday, March 28, 2016

What the day brings

    You never know what the day will bring. Especially a Monday. It is certain that you can never assume what you do not, can not know.
    Interaction example one: Offering help to a deaf person's back does not allow you to think their rude for not listening. Interaction number two: listening to complaints with a smile is an interesting part of the job. But I have learned over the years that a smile diffuses most things politely if not succinctly. That person doesn't know the inner working of hearts they feel they have been offended by. And that is okay too. We all have those days.
   Lesson learned or remembered: pridefulness is a barrier to happiness. Imagine loving a stranger enough to forgo pride. Quite grand and hard to do. It's all in the little things we are able to let go of.
   Most importantly, finding random jelly beans is always delightful! It was sunshine yellow after all!

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Doctor Who and Clara Holy Thursday Reflection

"Four and half billion years, why would you even do that?" Clara's Doctor Who is a literary figure of proportions so far greater than what humanity is capable of.

Somehow, Clara's Doctor Who gives me hope.  Both Clara and number 12/13 embody selflessness at points in their timeline.  The act of giving up one's freedom for a known or unknown death is a storyline created by Christ himself.

Whether these or previous writers knew it, the desire of the intellect to explain such a selfless act is always intuitive.  There is more that we cannot see with our limited intellect.

Maybe that is why people cannot wrap their minds around the selfless act of the Son of God who died to save our immortal souls.  Our intuition, if fostered, can see beyond the tracing that is left of the vision of the Cross.  Intuition is more than made up nonsense because it is the longing of the soul to be whole again.

In the tv shows, we eventually see the end of the story or the end of the season and sometimes it goes the full circle giving explanation where needed.  So you can see how an act of self sacrifice is in fact an act of freedom and love.

Christ is Himself, freedom and love.  He is the full circle.  Therefore the intuition, the intellect, the story of salvation are all founded in the selfless act of a God made man.  Man hasn't even existed for four and a half billion years.  Can you imagine if it would?  Jesus Christ's sacrifice would still extend beyond that time as both the beginning and the end of freedom and love.  You are free when you give up you.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Hope and Constancy

"Constancy in effort consists in struggling and suffering to the end, without yielding to weariness, discouragement, or indolence." 1093 The Spiritual Life

Tanquerey paints a vivid ideal for moral virtue. Climbing a trenchant divide is what we actually live.  On the one hand, we are encouraged by the good fight.  On the other is the promise of great grace waiting to be poured upon those who wait in the stillness.

I would say, out of constancy, only to pray. Pray to be still. Pray to act. Pray to hope.

A white martyrdom helps no one if it is done with anger. Therefore, pray and hope.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016


There is a science and an art to the stroke of the fly fisherman's cast.  The goal is to imitate both the randomness and consistency of the prey.  As humans, our clumsy cast can fly far astray or be so meager that it will net very little.  There in lies the struggle we set for ourselves to find the inbetween to imitate the art of nature, the art of God.

As we move along this journey, some things do come easier.  But maybe they don't. Maybe we just learn to let the line ride the wind or be weighted by the current. There is always the unexpected in the fervor and concentration of doing it right.  Preparation and asking questions leads to further wisdom. You just have to keep asking.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Prayer for Peace of Mind

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ,
Guide me today.
Be my light in shadows,
Be my strength in doubt.
When worry threatens my peace of mind,
Let me consider the sorrow you took upon yourself.
Let me consider the birds of the air and the beasts of the field that you have care for.

By the anointing of Your Most Precious Blood,
Allow the grace to flow as such, upon my person.
In all of my error and weakness,
Fill me with your capacity to love more.
When pressure comes upon my breast,
Bear the burden with me.
Continue to walk beside me, carrying me as necessary.

And as the thunder rolls through
And the sharp cracks of lightening strike my inner self,
Let me always seek you and trust you.
This is passing.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Faith and Hope

Faith is a combination of perseverance and perspective. To persevere or not to persevere?  That is not really a question we can ask, when surely humanity will persevere.  But what about the individual? What about the You?

The world is awash with delights for the senses, but the cries from the soul of the unhappy heart are calling to the mercy of the Father.   If you can stop what you are doing and listen, the Father will speak.

As I looked on a plant that is hanging outside on my porch, I saw God in it.  It has been up to 99 degrees this week and this plant is able to cope.  Its every function is glorious and full of splendor.  It perseveres.

The people we meet are full of dark and light, sorrow and joy.  The heart beating within their person is God in his wondrous work. The people persevere.

The Earth spins and seasons sweep storms and sunshine across our globe.  What an amazing creation we reside upon.  It perseveres.

So faith, like all, perseveres.  I don't think it ever goes away.  You can lose faith, but your neighbor may have faith for you, with you and in you. It is the matter of which our intelligence permeates into our being.

Your individual worth is more than anything you can imagine because the Son of God came to Earth to sacrifice his life for you.  Sometimes it will be so hard even to breath or desire to eat.  But your worth is glorious and stunning.  That is You, that the sun is rising up to meet.  That is You, that the crowd of Saints in heaven is cheering on.  That is You, that I am writing this to because someone does LOVE you and thinks of you every moment of every day.


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

On Being Different

Growing up, I always felt different from the other girls in my neighborhood. They had pop star crushes and always found out what their Christmas presents were before they got them. I always took long walks and liked to build things.

Thank goodness for being different. If it weren't for differences then we wouldn't have had one such as the Immaculate Virgin Mary.  A priest told me recently as part of a penance, to compare myself with her. I often do this and the Grand Canyon exists between us as far as similarities go. But it was in the context of how to be better and more Christlike.

True faith, I think, is trusting in the will of God for my life. So seeking to be more DIFFERENT, as in different from the world and more like Christ is the true way.

There are lots of ways to be different. I think one sure way is to recognize your failings in 'loving thy neighbor as thyself'. But once you do that to also look at the ways Christ is using your differences to his divine plan.

Be prepared to be attacked though. The world is rejoicing when you fail your conscience. It is his full intention and glee that you become mediocre in faith and apathetic to sin.  I think striving to do your best, but with the devotion to scripture and prayer is the way in which the Holy Ghost can most give you the grace to overcome temptation.  Be different please!  Define your different by the sincerity of living in and through Jesus Christ.