Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Loving

When the Saints suggested we keep God first and foremost on our minds, did they know we’d have television?

Christ on our heart, mind and soul seems a far off goal for many people who first profess ‘Jesus as their Lord and Savior.’ But I remember when I first fell in love with Christ. That change in my perception of Christ in my life gave width and depth to my heart in the way only sanctifying grace can.

I transferred to a Catholic college, where it was more difficult to be a Catholic than I had ever experienced at the state school. Even the director of campus ministry was against some of the main teachings of the Catholic Church. That priest left by my last semester, but he wasn’t the only persecutor on campus. The funniest thing to me was that, I ended up offering my entire Mexico mission trip for the girl who screamed obscenities at me from across the quad. I knew the girl, but I never knew why she did that. I heard later that she really turned her life around.
I will never regret attending that college, it formed me in faith in ways I could not have encountered by being surrounded by a ton of zealous Catholic students.

Like many personal revelations I have had, I did not seek out some great awakening to God’s love the day I fell in love. I was doing one of my favorite things, kneeling in the student chapel alone, thanking God that I was able to kneel before him. (I know I won’t be able to kneel one day because of inherited arthritis.)

The tabernacle in that chapel is a small wooden box sticking out of the wall with a red candle next to it. That day I looked at His presence in the room and as I told him I loved Him, I felt a new love penetrating my heart. Fear and doubt had held me back in the past from allowing myself to be in love with Christ. At that moment, just as Aslan had torn away the scales from the prideful boy, I saw myself anew in Christ’s eyes.

I had loved lightly before, but I can definitively say that Christ was the first person I have been in love with. He loved me back! And I am still in love with Him. He continues to reveal himself slowly to me, because He knows the right time for all things.

Because of that revelation, I have grown in love. The woman who begs Christ to heal her daughter is my scriptural reminder that our hearts must beat with love for others and for Him. I have loved a couple of people since then, it’s not always easy, but I always pray that I might love more, love more, love more. By loving more in those big ways, it helps me to be able to forgive and to see as Christ sees.

To keep God first and foremost on my heart, mind and soul is mostly easy now that I have been in love with him for about 10 years. Everything is beautiful, everyone needs love.
Did the Saints know we’d have distractions like tv, iphones, and internet? They loved through heresy, wars, disease, and trials of converting sinners. Pray to be IN Love with Christ and see where it leads you.