Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Learning Past the Age of Seven.

I’ve had several learning experiences lately, but they all center on one thing. Choices. Consciously, people make choices. Subconsciously, the choices reflect our formed or ill-formed will. This is a short reflection on a recent personal learning experience. But I’d like to start off with an anecdote from childhood because life is a cycle.

I have a quiet and shy brother who is older than me and an interior thinker. One of my earliest memories is an experience with my quiet older brother, where he was about 7 and I was 3. We found a dead bird in the back yard, a cardinal I think, and he said, “If we bury this and it’s not here tomorrow, then we’ll know it went to heaven.”

I was young, but I remember that moment that I was wondering what would happen. He buried the bird lightly in the leaves under the bushes to the side of the back yard. We couldn’t find it the next day. In our innocent minds, this small disappearance spoke volumes to the existence of God. I think Our Lord was forming our will to guide us spectacularly gently toward Him.

Today, I am luckily guided by a God who knows I make spectacular mistakes! I try to overcome childhood experiences that hinder right choices and that have made me a mess. (I am going to work for a while on this!) But I realized recently, it was a choice.

So I have chosen to take a closer look at the impact that subconscious choices of my psyche have had on my conscious words and actions.

What continuous concrete thoughts come from particular experiences?
What choices can I make consciously to counter-act negativity in loving my neighbor?
What is the direct relationship between my past subconscious ideas and my actions today?
What choices will I make to move out of the way for God’s will in my life?

I wanted to share this short reflection to hold myself accountable. Mostly to God, maybe to the one reader I might have, but definitely to myself. Above all, I try to choose love. From that small bird, I learned God loves the smallest creature. I am not afraid of love and loving other people, so if I can consciously make choices to love more, than I figure I am striving for God’s will on this Earth.

Prayer of Saint Ignatius Loyola
Teach us, Good Lord,
To Serve Thee as Thou deservest;
To give and not to count the cost;
To fight and not to heed the wounds;
To labor and not to ask for any reward,
save that of knowing that we do Thy will.
Through Jesus Christ Our Lord, Amen.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam - To the Greater Glory of God.