Sunday, March 14, 2010

The Forgiving Father Figure

When I was growing up I had many conversations with God.  I saw Him as one who was in charge of everything and generally made things happen.  I did not, however, know who Jesus was that well. I knew Jesus was the Son of God and had died on the cross, but I felt I could not relate to Him because He was too important.  I used to love when it rained though, because I always felt the Holy Spirit covered everything like the rain and made it fresh.  My images of the Trinity developed actively and subconsciously as I encountered life.

In my conversations with God, I would pray about and for the people I saw hurting on the news. Earthquakes, the Berlin wall, the Persian Gulf War all were subjects of my cries to God to show mercy.  I prayed for children who were abused, because for some reason I knew I had it good, even though my brothers never gave me a moment of peace.

During this time the Holy Spirit endeared my heart to God and allowed me the grace to come back to God over and over.  Still, I felt Jesus was the holder of the key to Heaven and thus too important for me to speak with. I only started speaking to Jesus Christ when I became older and started sinning a whole lot more often, unfortunately.  My relationship was defined in my mind as Jesus Christ the Savior whom I must ask forgiveness from.  But I had a good grasp of the Mother of God and the Holy Spirit.  Thus my faith developed and brought me to this point.

Yesterday, in my regular blog reading, I came across an article on the Prodigal Son.  One piece struck out at me about the relationship perceived. “relate to him as a son” is in reference to both of the sons and how they actively and subconsciously perceive how they relate to the father.  I have described my active perception of the Father God above, but this got me thinking as how I perceived Father God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost subconsciously.  How has the effect of my perception or environment affected my active and subconscious relationship with the Trinity?

Active perception of the Trinity has a foundation built in daily prayer.  By active, I generally mean waking and thinking about the Trinity.  Today, I would say I have a good awareness of all three with Jesus Christ as my go-to-guy for advice. In the parable, the prodigal son is received back in the arms of his father before he has said a word of explanation.  I can say confidently that I perceive Jesus Christ as a friend and mentor in this way that is ready to be just with me.

I do not know about my subconscious perceptions though and that is the reason for this post.  As I embark on a desire to understand scripture and liturgy better, I want to eradicate the areas that would hold the Holy Spirit back from understanding that the Trinity needs me to have to spread the message of Christ.  I have a long, long, long ways to go, but we know identification of a problem is the first step, as the Prodigal Son took his first steps home.